Scum Society

I thought I would be stronger but now i realize im just numb. Im desensitized after all ive witnessed, all i’ve done. I know too much. I’ve never talked about it but instead just hid too many secrets on my mind, skeletons i cant bury and cant forget. I know the smell of heroin, the taste of crack. If only i hadnt witness firsthand the effects of scum society; the feign begging just to get a fix, the mother sacrificing her child’s meal for a short glimpse, just a sweet reach to ecstasy. I wouldnt have been the victim of abuse after trying to do right. My eyes wouldnt have cried, my hands wouldnt be bruised from the aftermath of fighting back…just to defend them. I became numb, kept my mouth shut shit why bother? They always kept coming back my efforts were for nothing. I then became a drawer, drugs on my breasts, guns in my trunk, bullets at the crib…shit what is fear? I had no time for fear. Desensitized to guns, to violence, I became desensitized to love….

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