1) Ryan Adams hates spiders almost as much as I do
2) What tautology means
3) Not EVERYONE flushes the toilet
4) I’ve gotten worse at parking [wtf]
5) the dog at Masonic Street laundry wants me dead & buried (100% wishes I would pass away)
6) Antonio’s employees think they’re hilarious
7) The Pick-Up Artist is fun to watch because “Mystery” is so unattractive and off-putting like some weird androgynous Canadian marionette thing, lurching around in those pleather pants. Telling guys to approach girls while they are jogging, and then follow them, making asinine demands like, “Guess what percentage of chicks [can I write that here?] in the shower. GUESS.” Then he gives the guys puppies as props and advises them to bleach the tips of their hair and wear leather chokers with Zodiac signs hanging from them. Am I the only girl who would immediately call 911 if a guy in a velvet blazer followed me while I was running, and asked what I do in the shower? AND I STILL WATCH IT. Bad advice is the new black. (.com)
Baking bread seems difficult, time consuming and I bet the dough reeks. Who’s with me??
9) I refuse to look at what kind of printer I have so I can get a new ink cartridge. REFUSE. This is a task I can somehow not get done… for over 3 weeks.
10) Carrottop is the scariest man I have ever seen. If he was a contestant on The Pick-Up Artist, and if the show takes place in Canada as I imagine it does, he would immediately be shot by the first woman in a plaid flannel he approached. (I also imagine all Canadians carry rifles.)
AND FURTHERMORE: WHERE ARE HIS UNDERPANTS?
