My new blog is a tumblr blog, and I really appreciate the fact that I have complete control over the HTML code, and can even put in a banner and tracking code to see who likes what and make a few dollars for my work.

check me out from now on at this spot:

Prolifix at tumblr

and dont forget to add me on twitter at

Prolifix’s twitter feed

I graduated from Umass so it is just a matter of time until this all gets shutdown anyway. Until then, lets hope the Google cache can keep any of you in touch with my insanity!
-B

Note: I am rude. I don’t care. I don’t make a penny off my work so it’s full of bad language and spelling. If you find anything I write offensive, blow me. If you find anything I write to be incorrect – tell me! I am always open to new ideas and research. ALWAYS! I also hate corruption so if I link to a study or research group that has ties to big industry, let’s rip it apart together and find the truth.

——–

I took apart this article to show why I as an ultra-liberal just do not find any benefit in being vegetarian or vegan. I like to eat as close the earth and the metal as possible. That means only the most basic means are necessary. I try to eat only things that are grown or killed, and whose preparation can be nothing more than a hot piece of metal over an open flame. No processed foods or additives or HFC or MSG or any other TLA [three letter acronym]. I thought this article about the “myths” of vegan diets absolutely hilarious.
Most vegans are vegan for health and political reasons. In theory, it’s a nice idea. In reality, nothing will ever change. Vegans for years have tried to tell us all that their lifestyle is healthy.

It’s not.

My insights are marked B:

Source: http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-5670-Seattle-Vegan-Examiner~y2009m6d3-Myths-and-truths-about-vegan-diet#fragment-6

Myth: Vegans are at risk for iron deficiency.

Truth: Actually, vegans are less likely to get iron deficiency than lacto-ovo vegetarians. Vegans consume more iron and tend to replace milk (which contains no iron and also inhibits iron absorption) with iron-rich foods. Iron from plant foods is absorbed at a lower rate than from meat, but iron deficiency anemia is no more common among vegans than any other group.

B: This true. According to many sources [I will actually list some of mine!] casein protein in milk acts as an iron-uptake inhibitor.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m3741/is_7_52/ai_n6106301/

The best source of iron is found in green leafy vegetables like broccoli and spinach.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spinach#Iron

That’s not so bad! Let’s keep moving.

Myth: Vegan diets are okay for adults, but not for children.

Truth: Studies show that vegan kids sometimes fall short on a few nutrients compared to omnivore children, but that they have better intakes of other nutrients. All types of diets for children require careful planning. Vegan diets can provide adequate nutrition for children at all stages.

B: I found this BBC article from 2005 that dealt with children and vegan diets.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/talking_point/4283585.stm

So I looked up this Lindsay Allen. Her resume is pretty damn impressive.

http://www.iuns.org/council_photo_bio/allen.htm

“She is an expert on the prevalence, causes and consequences of micronutrient deficiencies in developing countries and has conducted numerous interventions to assess the efficacy of micronutrient supplements and food-based approaches to improve nutritional status, pregnancy outcome and child development, resulting in about 150 publications.”

Sorry, crazy vegans. She wins. I looked at her publications here:

https://www.researchgate.net/author/Lindsay+H+Allen

and checked out a few of the board members at the AJCN and didn’t detect a hint of corruption.

Also, since we know for a fact that vegan diets are not healthy, that forcing a child on a vegan diet goes against nature. Furthermore, since most vegans I know are doing it for political reasons as well, forcing that same pressure on a child who doesn’t understand the motives doesn’t make any sense. That’s called indoctrination and is supposed to be something the “liberals” are against.

You are just depriving a child of hard-wired nutritional requirements that he would normally get plenty of if he was eating a “normal” omnivore diet. You are wrong, vegans.

Myth: Dairy foods cause osteoporosis because they are high in protein, so vegans—who don’t drink milk—have lower calcium needs than omnivores.

Truth: Two myths in one! Unfortunately, there isn’t a shred of evidence that dairy foods cause osteoporosis. And the idea that vegans need less calcium than omnivores because of differing protein intakes is debatable. The research on this one is all over the place, with lots of conflicting studies. For now, it’s wise and responsible for vegans to meet standard recommendations for calcium.

Myth: Since vegans don’t drink milk, they can’t get enough calcium without supplements.

Truth: There are a number of plant foods that are good sources of well-absorbed calcium. While vegans can get adequate calcium from natural sources, most don’t meet calcium needs without using fortified foods or supplements. And guess what? Neither do most omnivores.

B: I put these two together because it’s just fuckin’ face-palm season in omnivore land.
Seriously, this is why shit like vegan nonsense gets spread around. Not only is she wrong here – she’s DEAD wrong. I cannot find anything even remotely relating to any study that says a high protein/dairy diet CAUSES osteoporosis. I don’t even think the author knows what osteoporosis is!

http://www.niams.nih.gov/Health_Info/Bone/Osteoporosis/default.asp

“Osteoporosis, or porous bone, is a disease characterized by low bone mass and structural deterioration of bone tissue, leading to bone fragility and an increased risk of fractures of the hip, spine, and wrist.”

Oh but this gets better. What makes up “bone” you ask?

“Bone is living, growing tissue. It is made mostly of collagen, a protein that provides a soft framework, and calcium phosphate, a mineral that adds strength and hardens the framework.”

So what do the experts recommend to battle osteoporosis? Why… dairy!!!!

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16373952?ordinalpos=1&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_DiscoveryPanel.Pubmed_Discovery_RA&linkpos=4&log$=relatedreviews&logdbfrom=pubmed

But I digress. So we know that calcium is essential. What else?

http://www.naturalnews.com/010528.html

E.x.e.r.c.i.s.e.

Where do vegans get calcium? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calcium_in_biology#Food_sources

Let us look at the top 5 sources for calcium per 100g:
Parmesan cheese – 1140mg
Sesame seeds – 989mg
Milk powder – 909mg
Molasses – 273mg
Hazelnuts – 250mg

I went onto iherb.com and found their normal bag of sesame seeds. 16oz is 454g. That is a little less than a quarter of the bag.

http://www.iherb.com/Now-Foods-Sesame-Seeds-Hulled-16-oz-454-g/15179?at=0

Now let us compare against something as fantastic as milk, shall we? I will of course compare against my favorite, whole milk.

http://www.nutritiondata.com/facts/dairy-and-egg-products/69/2

In a serving of ONE CUP of milk (244g) there is 276mg of calcium. I think you will quickly see that vegan diets blow at getting adequate amounts of calcium without going far out of your way.

What does that mean for vegans? Making up for it in unnatural ways, of course! Normal healthy people? Nothing. I have never heard anything that would suggest that normal American’s are lacking in calcium. In fact, most obese people do not have to worry about osteoporosis because their usually excessive dairy intake and carrying around an extra 200lbs means their skeletal systems are pretty damn strong.

Vegans need to learn to list sources or shut up.

Myth: Organically-grown plants provide vitamin B12.

Truth: There is no evidence that plants grown in organic soil can provide adequate B12 for vegans. Vegans need to include fortified foods or B12 supplements in their diet. There is absolutely no debate among this among responsible vegan nutritionists.

B: No shit, Sherlock.

Myth: Vegans need to consume combinations of plant foods to meet protein needs.

Truth: This myth is definitely a golden oldie. It’s been around since at least the early 1970s—and even though it was refuted in the 1990s, most of the world hasn’t caught up. Sadly, this includes many health professionals and journalists. Here is what the American Dietetic Association along with all vegan nutrition experts say: When vegans get adequate calories and eat a variety of whole foods throughout the day, they get plenty of protein. Protein is not an issue for vegans.

B: There have been a bunch of studies that say eating too much red meat will kill you, too. Let us examine these protein sources.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7959128.stm

But what 500,000 Americans did wrong was be fat and lazy. Cancer and heart problems are what we call, “diseases of affluence.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diseases_of_affluence

Most people say red meat is bad for you because it is high in saturated fat which raises your LDL levels.

http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/features/the-truth-about-red-meat

Which just is not true…..

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/is-meat-good-or-bad-for-us-425192.html

This is all white noise that statistician will spin whatever way they want their numbers to look like. Our cavemen forefathers ONLY ate meat – the BONE MARROW to boot. MM…delicious!

A Harvard university study actually says we should eat MORE saturated fats to lower LDL levels! Dubbed the “American Paradox” –

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6WJS-4PB160B-1&_user=10&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=e272e42ee8e7c5904f7e07efb23b1aca

http://books.google.com/books?id=zB1243xWpwgC&printsec=frontcover

Encarta for a little reading on human evolution, just to refresh your memories:

http://encarta.msn.com/encyclopedia_761566394_12/human_evolution.html

More so, the evidence is pouring in. Repeat after me: FATS ARE NOT THE PROBLEM!

http://www.ajcn.org/cgi/content/full/80/5/1102

http://www.nationaldairycouncil.org/NationalDairyCouncil/Health/Digest/dcd76-2Page3.htm

http://health.msn.com/nutrition/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100231525

and my favorite, Men’s Health:

http://www.menshealth.com/cda/article.do?site=MensHealth&channel=nutrition&category=food.for.fitness&conitem=b675909829731110VgnVCM10000013281eac____

“The research is clear: Carbohydrates, not fats, are the foe in America’s battle against heart disease and obesity
By: Adam Campbell & Jeff Volek, Ph.D., R.D.”

So again this is a case of misinformation being rampantly spread around that are actually just knee-jerk reactions.

So where do vegans get protein from? Soy?

http://www.soyonlineservice.co.nz/ TOXIC SOY???

No thanks. Pass the steak.

Myth: Vegan diets cause eating disorders in teen girls.

Truth: Some teen girls who already have eating disorders choose vegan or vegetarian diet as a way to control intake. A vegan diet will not cause an eating disorder and is not a sign of an eating disorder.

B: That is some tall circumstantial evidence. To many and especially other modern foragers like me, eating vegan is an eating disorder.

Who’s to say vegan is the answer? Correlation does not equal causation. Maybe if girls were not bombarded by impossible body images by mass media and force fed school lunches things would be different. Let’s attack the whole system and not just put a piece of duct tape on the broken water main.

The whole system is broken. The science backs it up. Evolution is real and our genetics have painted us a beautiful manual on how we should be living. When your new iPod says plug it into a USB port, you plug it into a USB port. We are developing better reading glasses every single day, and the human instruction manual is becoming more and more clear as time goes on. And vegetarian/vegans are just fooling themselves.

Let us continue.

Myth: Vegan diets are fattening because they are so high in carbohydrates.

Truth: Some vegans are fat and some are skinny. As a group, though, vegans tend to be slimmer than meat eaters. Whole plant foods are high in good carbs and rich in fiber and are good choices for weight control.

B: Proof?

As a group, athletes are the healthiest out of all humans on the planet.

I thought it would be interesting so I did a Google on famous vegan athletes. According to wiki, that number is ……………. TEN!

Yeah, really. Ten? Vegans need to wake up.

But I took it a step farther. Being an MMA fighter, of course I was interested in Mac Danzig. So I dug around. Since 2007 to 2009 – he has lost 4 and won 2. Way to be competitive, champ. On top of that, according to this article:

http://www.themmadigest.com/2007/08/lean-mean-and-green%E2%80%A6vegan-fighter-mac-danzig-packs-a-punch/

He likes to eat this shit – http://www.ultimatelife.com/home.htm

Sorry vegans, but the ultimate meal does not come in a tin can or a pill or a supplement or anything like that. It comes after hard work. It comes after a brutal day when you drag your freshly killed carcass back home to cook over an open fire.

Myth: You will automatically lose weight on a vegan diet because it’s so low in fat.

Truth: Most vegan diets are not low in fat. Eating a low fat diet does not guarantee weight loss and eating a vegan diet does not guarantee weight loss. A vegan diet is a healthful way to lose weight, but you still have to use up more calories than you consume.

B: As I have already established before, carbohydrates will do more to wreck your system and make you fat than fats ever will. Insulin sensitivity? Further required reading:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Insulin_resistance

Symptoms of IR
1. Fatigue.
2. Brain fogginess and inability to focus. Sometimes the fatigue is physical, but often it is mental.
3. High blood sugar.
4. Intestinal bloating. Most intestinal gas is produced from carbohydrates in the diet. Insulin resistance sufferers who eat carbohydrates sometimes suffer from gas.
5. Sleepiness. Many people with insulin resistance get sleepy immediately after eating a meal containing more than 20% or 30% carbohydrates.
6. Weight gain, fat storage, difficulty losing weight. For most people, too much weight is too much fat. The fat in IR is generally stored in and around abdominal organs in both males and females. It is currently suspected that hormonal effects from such fat are a precipitating cause of insulin resistance.
7. Increased blood triglyceride levels.
8. Increased blood pressure. Many people with hypertension are either diabetic or pre-diabetic and have elevated insulin levels due to insulin resistance. One of insulin’s effects is on arterial walls throughout the body.
9. Depression. Because of the deranged metabolism resulting from insulin resistance, psychological effects are not uncommon. Depression is said to be the prevalent psychological symptom.

“[…] there are some grounds for suspecting that insulin resistance is related to a high-carbohydrate diet.”

http://www.glycemicindex.com/

Myth: Our ancestors ate meat, so vegan diets aren’t natural.

Truth: Our ancestors gnawed raw meat off the bones of animals and scavenged for wild greens. Today’s omnivore diet is completely “unnatural,” because it includes foods like grains and dairy that played no part in the meals of early humans. Vegan diets support health and eliminate animal cruelty. That sounds better than “natural!”

B: this one cracks me up the most.

Speak for yourself, Mrs. Expert. My diet has not one lick of grains or gluten. I dig dairy because it is not far from the Paleolithic bandwagon and because I find it to be an excellent source of nutrients that I need right now. We are all born into the world drinking milk and from efficiency point of view, maximizing your survivability in the modern world is a very Darwinian mindset I like to maintain which manifests itself throughout my lifestyle.
But I don’t even really say that I am a paleo-dieter, I just follow it as a guideline, and nothing more.

I refuse to let my gut lose the ability to digest lactose sugars, which is what it is all about, in my opinion. We have the ability to process lactose when we are babies, which means we are meant to consume it in youth. We live in a modern universe and while it is unnatural to continue to consume dairy, it’s also unnatural to wear cotton shirts, watch television, twitter, and just about anything else in our 21st century lifestyles. It’s hypocritical to pick and choose what you preach about while embracing the other half.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lactose_intolerance#Nutritional_concerns

http://www.veganhealth.org/articles/everyvegan/

http://www.veganhealth.org/b12/natural

http://www.vrg.org/nutrition/b12.htm

I do not, nor will I ever, endorse a vegan diet. It is not healthy. It is not the way we are programmed to operate. I also do not endorse humans to continue to eat the way we do. Things need to change, for sure, and perhaps the solution is far away from anything we can accomplish in a single life time.

Our food culture is broken. Our farmers are fucked. Our techniques for growing are both environmentally and in regards to human wellbeing FUBARed. We know the answer but we are not equipped to handle it.

But you don’t need even an acre to grow your own sustenance.

Start your own farm. Hunt your own meat. Fish your damn self. Grow your own fruits and vegetables. It’s natural. It’s easy. And there will be no big industry spraying DDT on your own crops. Remove yourself from the grid by doing it yourself. Take the initiative.

Don’t have the resources? Sorry, that’s your problem. Buy local. Eat free-range chicken and grass-fed steak and organic grown fruits and vegetables. Get active. Get involved! Get off your carbo-loaded ass!

You don’t have to preach some fanciful methodology and get up on your high horse because you’re more “eco” than me. I don’t care about you. I don’t care what you do. But more importantly I don’t want to hear your bullshit. It is not true. Get over it, vegan nut jobs.

When you are free of all pre-established methodologies and simply live the best you can do, you feel no guilt when you take a shortcut. You don’t have to make everyone else stir in their seat because “that guy” thinks it’s cruel to farm shrimp and the rest of you are about to tear into some nice seafood kabob.

And for the love of Darwin read this: http://www.beyondveg.com/billings-t/comp-anat/comp-anat-1a.shtml [linked from the pro-vegan page above]

Today’s piece is Yoko Tawada’s “Kakeru.” It may read like nonsense, but the catch is that for most of the verbs in the piece, kakeru is used. In japanese, kakeru can take any number of different meanings, and Tawada was just trying to have some fun. I switched kakeru to “do” as the main verb and tried to nominal-ize the verbs as best i can. Enjoy!
——-
Yoko Tawada – “Kakeru”

I did put the cover on the pillow. I did the ironing on the blouse. I did the vacuuming. I am not one to really do my house-wife chores, but I did put salt on my tomato. I did sit down and put my glasses on to work on my manuscript. I did heat up the curry around noon, and I did eat it. “Write!” I thought when my stomach was full, but I didn’t end up writing anything. Thinking I could turn the key to my consciousness, I did turn on the radio and laid down on my futon.

Lying like that I didn’t think I would annoy anyone, but I actually thought it might be better to do a little bothering of people. Even doing something irritating to a person can end up being a bridge reaching out to someone. At least it is better than just doing something all by yourself.

I want to do bad things, like doing practical jokes on goody-two-shoes, or doing something to show off my intellect, or do some gambling. If I were to get tied up with rope and put on trial in a court of morality, I would just be forced to do something drastic and make a spectacular escape.

When it was around time for the sun to do its setting, I did wake up and I did eat some “do-soba.”

No matter how big an insurance policy you take out on yourself, we’re going to do something that will end up killing us anyway, so let’s do all the fun stuff now while we still can.

Take literature, for example. Do some polishing to your writing. Do some talking to people, and do some riddling. Do something to put them in a state of hypnosis. Do it the way a bird builds its nest. The habit I have of doing things that nest within me determine on its own what will get done in the story plot.

Doing some communication between people won’t prevent the spread of crime. Better than that is to do some mixing of cats and dogs, do some promotion of a mixed-culture, do something to start the engines of optimism. Do it slowly and stitch together a new story.

In a dream I have where I do multiplication of seven and seven and divide by three, I start to do a bridge-crossing but stop half way. There is a store on the opposite river-bank that sells candy and words that people did start to say but stopped. As the sun once again begins to do its setting, a horse gallops out from the sky. The moon does its waning. The tooth that did the biting gets chipped like the brim of a tea cup.

But when you are short one person, it is hard to do a one-man play.

This week is Yoshimoto Banana’s piece “Beauty.” I absolutely adore her work. I highly recommend her to anyone who just loves to think and read words on a page. Even in translation [maybe not quite mine, but] her ideas and feelings come across beautifully.

---

Yoshimoto Banana – “Beauty”

The other day I had an errand to run so I went to an upscale supermarket. Because there was such a bountiful selection to choose from I ended up buying a lot. My hands loaded with bags I peeked over at the attached flower shop.

There was only one shop attendant and the middle-aged lady before me had a pretty complicated order. She wanted only the most expensive phalaenopsis orchards wrapped as a present and a premium bouquet for some shrine packaged and delivered. An aristocratic arrogance seeped from every pour of her being saying, “I am a rich person. Rich people deserve preferential treatment.”

To make the point ‘this is all I have!’ I had already picked out a handful of tulips and a potted orchard plant I was planning on putting next to the bath. I tried to stand there and give off the feeling of, “Couldn’t you let me go first?” but the person before me had already tried that strategy and was taken first. The shop attendant was giving off a defensive air as if to say, “I can’t do more so I’m just going to focus on wrapping these orchards.”

I had no choice but to wait around for a good twenty minutes. The whole time people kept lining up behind me. I could sense them saying to themselves, “It looks like this might take a long time,” and walk away. As the time passed it became harder and harder for me to leave my spot, and I couldn’t go find another attendant. I am not particularly bad at waiting, but the clerk trying to silently tell us all to come back some other time really made me mad. If that woman with her complicated order would have just turned around and apologized for taking so much time, it would have lightened the mood. But when even close enough to touch shoulders, she was adamant about not even making eye contact. Having been raised in the old part of town, I thought this was quite a bizarre predicament.

Then all of a sudden an extremely beautiful woman who looked just like Hiroko Shino blew in like the wind and picked out a bunch of twenty dollar tulips. As if to say, “Can I just go first, please?” but fearing the worst she started to glance at us standing in line. I leaned over and said, “Actually I’ve been waiting quite a while and it doesn’t look like it’s going to be done anytime soon.” I could have simply just exerted my presence silently but to remain quiet would be giving in to the sticky atmosphere so I had to utilize on my social graces.

“Oh, well I’ll go and find someone then,” she said and scuttled off. When they came back she said to the attendant, “This person was ahead of me,” and let me go first. She then said with a beaming smile, “Good thing I went and got someone, huh?”

So I believe there are two types of rich people. Those of whom money allows a certain breathing room and through that freedom allows a truer sense of character to emerge in a good way, and those for whom money does the exact opposite. As part of the younger generation, I feel like I am stuck between the two. The smiling face of that woman was true beauty and it is just for such beauty that people work to pamper themselves or marry into a rich family. Although ultimately it is not the money but a person’s true nature that is exposed in situations like that. It changes the value of their life. I who am neither rich nor beautiful reflect deeply on this and even now, every time I look at that orchid I kindly remember that softly smiling face.

I did this because I was bored. BoA’s new song “Eien”
Lyrics copyright – translation mine.

---

My fingers were made

just so I could softly touch your cheeks


The sparkling moon is there

just for us to look up at together, always

it was


The you that I would always go to and

would make me laugh when I felt crushed is gone


My sadness escapes from my tattered palms

my love

tonight I am probably the one

crying the most in this town


because you loved me

I am who I am

A wind that carries time

Somehow give me back that day’s eternity


bye bye bye

Why did you say bye bye?

Why did you say bye bye?


together, standing on the corner

we each had an headphone

playing a song we always would listen to


you all of a sudden pulled away

and the headphone fell out of my ear a little

I pretended to get so mad


Then without warning I eyes met

our lips came together

and you said you were always going to protect me, but


Gently stretching a hand into the navy blue sky

my heart feels like it is going to burst

once more, just hold me


if I was honest with myself, would not be like this?

When I wake up it was all just a dream

Then you said jokingly…


bye bye bye

Why did you say bye bye?

Why did you say bye bye?


Looking at the other people

We walked along the row of trees

“Next time I’ll make pasta,” you said

“ let’s go on a trip next year,” you said

“I will always protect you,” you said, but….


my sadness escapes from my tattered palms

my love

tonight I am probably the one

crying the most in this town


Because you loved me

I am who I am

The wind that carries the seasons

Somehow, I want that day’s eternity


Gently I stretch my hand into the navy blue sky

My heart feels like it is going to burst

Once more, just hold me


if I was honest with myself, would not be like this?

When I wake up it was all just a dream

Then you said jokingly…


bye bye bye

Why did you say bye bye?

Why did you say bye bye?

Man hating bitches galore!

---

“Cooking” – Mitsuyo Kakuta


It is true that I hate when men cook. Of course I am not trying to say that there are no men who can cook. I am sure in this whole wide world there is someone who can make something I would enjoy. What I mean to say is that up until now, not a single thing I have eaten that was made by a man I have enjoyed.


First of all, whenever a man goes shopping its always far too expensive. They want to buy good quality ingredients, but do not really know what it means to be “good quality ingredients,” so they always simply judge by the price. Of course if this was an everyday thing it would be fine. Long live Engel’s Coefficient! However, most men are not like that. They splurge and by the expensive stuff.


Whenever I go shopping with a man I always slowly get annoyed. Expensive pasta, expensive cheese, expensive fish, expensive vegetables, expensive oils. Things that I think about buying on a daily basis, but then I think, “Should I buy it? No, it’s a waist! But I want to buy it. Well what about when guests are coming over?” But a man can just snap his fingers and buy it just like that. The arrogance! Plus, when they use their vast mountains of cooking knowledge and say stupid things like, “but if the ingredients aren’t good then…,” with earnest intentions is really unnerving. They really have this Puritan-belief that expensive ingredients are good ingredients, and that good ingredients can make a delicious meal.


Also, whenever a man cooks it take a considerable amount of time. Of course there are a lot of things to consider when cooking; nutritional balance, a feeling of accomplishment, using your heart – but inside all of that satisfying hunger, and doing it quickly, are things men tend to forget. If seven o’clock rolls around and it is time to eat, I would not care about how much time was put into it. It can be quite annoying when a man starts cooking at five and at eight he’s still working away.


I am not sure if it’s some physical defect or what, but when I get hungry my hands start to shake, my energy disappears, I break out in a sweat, and eventually I get dizzy and fall over. I’m not joking! When I start to sweat I try to eat something quick. If all else fails I find some chocolate or something to tide me over. For a man in the midst of cooking, these things are completely irrelevant. Even if I am standing beside him blue in the face, sweat pouring out, no matter what he is determined to take his time and make something fantastic. They believe, like expensive ingredients, the deliciousness of the meal is directly proportional to how much time it takes to make.


There are still more things that annoy me. When it comes to cooking, a man will focus like an innocent little kid. As a result they burn pots and pans, use too many dishes, needlessly dirty up the kitchen, raise their voice, and boss around the starving woman next to them.


Furthermore, they have concept of the art of combining different food dishes even after making such a big production cooking in the first place. For example, if dinner is curry, it will be just curry, or just pasta, steak, or fish. Oh the desolation, the loneliness – just like a beggar. The awkwardness of a solitary dish does not communicate to a man. After he hand-selected his ingredients, put his skills to the test, poured in his blood sweat and tears, it is his masterpiece!


Finally, what really bothers me is the fact that they have no desire to improve their skills. If you say anything you will hurt his sensitive feelings. Men get so unbelievably depressed if you give any negative opinions on his masterpiece like it is too salty or it does not really have any flavor. Alright, next time I’ll do this: because men are lacking in carefree and resilient spirits, and because I do not really want to fight over something as trivial as cooking, ill just show them with “delicious” complements.


When a man sets his mind on cooking, more than the appetite, the desire to eat something gourmet, more than transforming the meal into an event or date, above all else it seems aesthetics are given preference. Romanticism and aestheticism. For whatever reason that side of a man is expressively exhibited not in daily life, work, or interpersonal relationships but in the inconsequential act of cooking. That is what I think anyway.
Nevertheless, even though I may already feel sick to my stomach, I will by no means try to stop a man I like when he proclaims that he is going to cook. Romanticism and aestheticism. That laudable side of a man is somehow important, fragile, and with a hint of loneliness. That stupid and independent soul of a man is not something I could possibly bring myself to hate.

This is actually the first one, but I guess I forgot to press the “Publish” button so it never got posted.

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“Yelling at kids in the train.” – Sakai Junko


This happened the other day when I got on the bullet-train. There were two kids sitting in front of me. The two of them were watching a portable TV without headphones – sound pouring out into the train. Because we were in the train moving, the reception was pretty bad and there was a lot of static.


I kept waiting for the conductor to put a stop to it but of course that didn’t happen. Across from the idle was some middle-aged businessman. I was kind of hoping he would say something to them, but alas nothing happened. He just kept reading his magazine.


I am a person who likes the quiet, so I kept thinking reluctantly that there was nothing for me to do but scold them myself. However, when an adult yells at kids these days they are usually met with a barrage of rage. Come to think of it, just the other day there was a case where an older woman yelled at a girl putting on make-up on the platform. The girl pushed her when the train was coming to a stop and was hurt pretty bad.


“I was just using the make-up sponge to wipe away sweat. I wasn’t putting on any on,” she commented.


Unfortunately this kind of behavior has become common practice. If we judged these girls by 18th century standards, it would no doubt be considered unacceptable behavior. Even if some adult told her, ‘It’s disgusting so stop it!’ she would just reply, ‘I don’t see anything wrong with it,’ and that will be the end of it.


Electromagnetic waves emanating from cell phones, the tinny sound escaping from people’s headphones: as long as it is just unseemly and embarrassing and not an annoyance no one says anything.


But still, I found the sound coming from that portable TV to clearly fall into the category of annoying. I thought that even if they flew into a rage of fury, they looked pretty weak, so was not like it would even hurt. But then again kids these days carry all kinds of weapons and if they got really angry things could get out of hand.


I fretted over all this stuff but the annoyance got the better of me and I finally decided to do something. While smiling broadly, so as to sense my hospitability, I asked them if they ‘could turn it down just a little bit.’ I guess I started them a little bit coming from the seat behind them; they stammered out an apology and turned the volume down.


Although I was content with my results, saying things like, ‘can you turn the TV a little,’ does not actually mean turning down the volume. It means, ‘turn the damn TV off!’


What is more, that businessman sitting across from me, what a pitiful man! I thought. In spite of finding it annoying himself, he just sat there with a look of relief on his face.


At an earlier time, maybe even in the same situation, I probably would not have been in any position to tell anyone to do anything. I am sure I would have most likely been on the receiving end myself. For example, one time on the way back from school, we were on the train chatting away. Without saying anything, an older man handed us a piece of paper with “Shut up!” written on it and walked away.


“What does ‘shut up’ mean?”


“Maybe it’s ‘shaddap’?”


“’Shaddap’? What a creepy old guy!” we said without learning anything at all.


When I was in university, on the way back from a vacation in Hawaii we were in the airplane still wound-up from our break talking and singing songs and carrying on. A handsome steward told us to “Shh!” and I might have even been embarrassed for a moment.


Thinking back on those days when you are young, you do not notice anything going on around you. I realize that for those kids standing around and chatting, absolutely nothing is more important. They think of themselves as center of the universe.


I think the girls who put on make-up in trains are probably something similar. Since they are by themselves in their private coach, they do not feel even the slightest bit of embarrassment. At that moment in the bullet-train, nothing was more important that what was on that TV at that moment in time and because they wanted to, they were going to watch it.


However, when people become adults they realize little by little that they are not the center of the universe. They realize there are things you should not do in front of other people and our concept of “public decency,” becomes apparent.


Occasionally I will see an older person putting on make-up on the train and I am sure they are thinking something like, “Well these days it’s ok so I am going to do it too.” But they are wrong. It is only forgiven if you are young, and when older people do it: it’s a painful sight.


In Tokyo too, the “woman only” cars have become widely adopted. In the Kansai area when you ride in the woman-only cars you are surrounded by women putting on eye-liner without any care for the eyes of others. I am sure in Tokyo it is the same.


With the rise of these new cars where one can un-bashfully put on make-up, train ethics are surely changing. From childhood riding only in women-only cars, I am both frightened and intrigued by what kind of women these kids will become.

I actually fixed my mistakes in this one!

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“Long Ago, in the Twilit Park” – Otsuchi


When I was in elementary school, I remember there was a small little park surrounded by buildings not far from where we lived. Every day, when the sun fell away behind the horizon, the noises of busy cars and busy people would vanish without a trace and in that silence a child’s shoe would sometimes be left on the ground forgotten. It was that kind of park.


When it became time for dinner, all the friends I had been playing with would go home to their parents. I would always have to stay there killing time, waiting for mine. When I got tired of swinging by myself, I would go play in the sand box as if I was summoned. The little one in the corner. The kids were usually so engrossed with the swings and the slides that the corner was always forgotten.


Without anyone to talk to I played in the sand while the setting sun slid behind the buildings without a sound and painted the world red. A yellow bucket sat left behind by who knows who. I sat, took off my shoes, and piled sand onto my feet. It was cold and the little grains of sand sliding down in-between my toes felt good.


I amused myself by sticking my hand deep down into the sand. I wanted to see how far down it actually went. I stuck my arm straight down, all the way until my shoulder was almost inside too. I asked my dad about the bottom-less sandbox, but he did not believe me saying, “Of course the sand box has a bottom — so how could that be possible?” I knew he was wrong. I did get my arm all the way into the sand. I did again and again, sticking my arm all the way in.


I lost count when finally something happened. The setting sun was casting long, pitch-black shadows from the trees in the corner. I stuck my right arm all the way into the sand to my shoulder again and felt something brush against my fingertips.


Something seemed to be buried there. I needed to figure out what it was, so I stuck my arm all the way to the bottom of the sandbox. My middle finger could just barely brush against it. It was plump and springy and I wanted to just rip it out but it was just out of reach. Instead, I felt something wrapping around my fingers. I pulled my hand out to discover a clump of someone’s long black hair. It was dirty and damaged — a girl’s hair, I thought.


Once again I tried to dig down and touch whatever it was that was buried in there. But no matter how hard I tried, no matter how far down I stuck my hand, I could not find anything. I felt disappointed.


With everything turning the color red before me, the buildings with their closed windows surrounded me like a giant wall, cutting me off from the rest of the world. Suddenly, with my right hand deep in the sand, I felt something. It was just a small little touch, like a fish biting me with the tip of its mouth.


Without warning, something grabbed my wrist and squeezed firmly. I tried to pull my hand out but it was stuck tight. There was no one around, so my cries for help just echoed off those massive walls. My tightly clenched fist was forced open and I could feel the touch of someone’s fingers on my palm. I realized she was trying to write something.


“Get me out!” she wrote on my palm.


I dug my left hand down into the sand but…


“Can’t,” I wrote and disappointed, she released my hand. I pulled both my arms out of the sandbox and went home. After that I did not go anywhere near that sandbox.

Sometime later, I heard that they were going to tear down the park to build an apartment complex. I went to take a look as they dug the sandbox up, but it did not look deep enough for anything to be buried down there.

Back when I was in basic training, I had a drill sergeant, Hernandez [hereafter DS Hernandez] who was, to me, a diamond in the rough. Now generally, I was pretty damn intimidated by all the drill sergeants – because when you’re in that state of mind, that’s the image they are trying to portray. Let us just say, training is very effective.

While I was still very much intimidated by DS Hernandez, there was also a high level of respect I had for him, and I think it was mutual on my part as well. He was the one who appointed me to squad leader, which would lead to my promotion later, kept me on the inside with all the training and drill information, and even had me into his tent to give me the rundown on the final days of basic, something which I thought was unheard of.

He was the positive reinforcement I needed to make it through basic training not just in the sense of survival, but excelling beyond peoples expectations. Of course I wanted to do good for my friends and family, the thought of sticking my tail between my legs and crawling home humiliated because I couldn’t make it was unacceptable, but deep down I also wanted to do well because I wanted to show DS Hernandez that I am a damn good soldier and I wanted to have both me and my squad exceed his expectations. I think we generally did.

Needless to say, I was quite surprised to learn that he is now rotting away in Ft. Leavenworth, the Department of Defense’s maximum-security prison. Apparently, when he was stationed in Alaska, he got into a bar fight and killed two people. This may sound crazy to you, but as an army soldier trained like him, I am sure it was part just immediate reactions that have been burned into his head. In days like this, in the Army, deployment is always a single letter in the mail away. Soldiers in today’s day and age need to be ready to take orders, kill, and survive at a moments notice. The fact that he killed two people was no shock to me, almost kind of delighted that he was a man who practiced what he preached.

What shocked me was that afterwards he fled, went home, and somehow managed to get back to Ft. Benning, Georga – where there’s the Infantry training school. I am not sure the timing of the story, but I imagine that there was not enough evidence left to tie the murders to DS Hernandez.

When he was back in Ft. Benning, he got drunk one night, raped his 13 year old step-daughter, and when the cops were called was so belligerent that he thought they were after him for the murders in Alaska. High-speed pursuit with Ft. Benning police later, he was arrested and charged with so many violations I doubt he will see outside the walls in Leavenworth till I have kids in college.

I honestly feel bad for him. Sure, you probably think he’s a horrible person, but I always think I’m a good judge of character, and his downfall to me seems like nothing than one large fail. No matter what is going on in your life, soldiers have the most stress than anyone of us. Imagine being a tightly wound spring, ready to explode, but if you do the possibility of someone getting killed is astronomically high. You are a spring designed to kill – how could anyone expect different?

What lesson can we learn from this? Stress is a serious problem that can make ordinarily good people do drastic things. Stress causes us to drown our sorrows and problems in alcohol which does nothing but causes that spring to let loose. We as humans are designed to deal with stress but we need our outlets. For most of us, that is eating, but for the few of us that follow our genetic programming, we have learned the awesome power that comes with focused, hardcore exercise. On top of that, following the rules of intermittent fasting, we give our sympathetic nervous systems a chance to recuperate and rebuild and thus we are better at dealing with stress than the normal over-fed fat-ass.

Don’t be like DS Hernandez – eat right, exercise, and train your body and mind to deal with stress correctly so you don’t end up killing two dudes in a bar fight.

Sometimes when something I used to eat comes across my face I remember that delicious taste and consider cashing in my morals and just eating the damn thing. It happened when after not a week back in the US my grandfather bought the family a half dozen of those awesome muffins from Perkins – yeah THOSE ones…

Almost always, as quick as the thought enters my head it leaves the same way it came in, usually getting bumped in the ass on the way out. I have realized I’ve become quite Buddhist in my food choices lately.

You eat, and its over. That fleeting moment of anti-nutrition is always full of flavor bliss, but it is always over too soon, and all you are left with is a stomach full of high fructose corn syrup, trans fats, and a defeated mentality. No thanks. If I am going to cave into my sweet tooth, I like to do it with at least some milk or dark chocolate, sometimes even encasing yummy nuts like almonds.

Your body and brain are nothing but the building blocks you give them. The old adage, “you are what you eat,” still holds true. I’ll pass fleeting fragments of tantalizing taste bud memories for a properly functioning brain any day.

Then I began to think about why I kick myself in the ass trying to make sure I eat as perfect as I’m willing to eat. It is no myth that eating has positive mental benefits, serotonin etc, but at the end of the day, I would rather take an entire day bursting with vigor and positive energy than eating like a pig loafing around all day. I’d rather look into the mirror and like what I see and strive for the next level than be mad at myself and go back to playing xbox360.

There are many scientific benefits to eating properly and healthy including improved insulin sensitivity, increased brain function including but not limited to learning and focus, reduced stress do to the settlement of the human sympathetic nervous system, and best of all – a properly detoxed system devoid of poisons and most importantly – body fat.

The question of health to me reflects highly on the Buddhist quest for enlightenment in macro form. Do you want to be satisfied right now, while you eat that ice cream, and go back to being a fat-ass, or do you want to be satisfied for life, every moment you are awake or asleep – alive and out in the world strong and confident rather than fat and lazy?